Thursday, January 28, 2010

A dating tip for the fellas..AKA I am not your baby, your sexy, your sweet thang, or your doll!!

**disclaimer: If you are in a committed relationship with us that has lasted more than a month, you may start breaking out the petnames listed above!!

Listen boys, women nowadays are accomplished. We are not validated through you and your opinions of us. We are educated, we have careers, we raise families and still take care of perhaps it's time to give credit where credit is due, by perhaps learning our names?

We all know that when you call us "babe", what you are really saying is you've either forgotten our names or you have so many on the go it is easier to give us a generic name. When you call us "sexy" and we have not yet slept with you, you are taking the liberty of assuming we will. When you call us "doll", you have diminished us into a plastic creature with soulless eyes but a great rack...ok wait, I guess it's alright to call me that. The description is accurate enough! If you call us "bodacious", we suddenly understand why you use mousse and still pop your collar...

So boys, learn our names...because trust me, the nicknames we give you are far worse. To illustrate my point, I will now list the nicknames my friends and I have given some of the men we've dated:

The Mute Crackhead
The Widower
One ear/One eye
Pepe Le Pew
Wonky Peen
Sgt Sexipants
Teeny Peen
Wannabe Fighterboy
Asian Invasion 1
Asian Invasion 2
Asian Invasion 3 (we're still waiting to nickname one "Asian Penetration")
Married Douchebag
Blue Shirt
Naked Text Guy

I could go on forever. Don't take us on here men, we are far more creative and generally have a bigger vocabulary. The war of the nicknames will not end well!

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